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Are you ready for the complete list of the best, the funniest, the corniest, and the me-wow-est cat jokes ever? Say Hello Kitty! and step into this hilarious world of cats…
Cat Joke Video
Have some fun with this fun cat joke video:
What do you call a cat who steals other cats’ toys?
Why did the sick cat visit the doctor?
To get a purrr-scription
What do you call a cat’s house?
A scratch pad
What do you call a person who steals cats?
What do you say when a cat visits you?
What do you say when a cat leaves the house?
Have a mice day!
Finish this sentence: When the cat’s away …
… everyone has peace and quiet
What do invisible cats eat?
Why do cats sit on keyboards?
To watch the mouse
What’s a cat in a Toyota called?
What do you call twin cats?
What did the cat say after a shopping spree?
Now I’m paw!
Why did the cat spend all his money?
He needed some re-tail therapy
How does a cat decide what to buy at the store?
He checks the cat-alog
What car did the cat just buy?
A red furr-ari
What do you call a cat that makes furniture?
An assembly kit
What do you call a cat bite?
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What does a cat cry out when he gets hurt?
What do you call a cat that wears high heels, perfume and make up?
A glamor-puss who’s feline pretty!
Why did the cat get arrested?
Who arrested the cat for litter-ing?
What does a mouse say when a cat catches his tail?
That’ll be the end of me!
What did the cat say when the mouse got away?
You’ve gotta be kitten me
Which cats purr loudest?
What do you call a cat who wins a dog show?
What do you get when you cross a cat with a pillar?
What do you get when you cross a cat with a parrot?
What do you get when you cross a cat with a ball?
What do you call a cat that does tricks?
A magic kit
What does a cat call a bowl of milk?
A purr-fect drink!
What’s white, fluffy and floats in the pool?
What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?
Chocolate mouse with sprinkles
What do cats eat at the beach?
A goat, a goose and a duck go out for lunch. Who pays?
The goose cause he’s the only one with the bill
What has four legs, whiskers, and eats grass?
A lawn meouw-er
What do you call a very old cat?
What do you call a cat jumping up and down?
What do you call a cat that lives at the North Pole?
What cat loves to swim?
What do you call a cat nurse?
A first-aid kit
What did the cat say to the paper shredder?
Teach me everything you know
Have you seen a catfish?
Of course not – how would they hold the fishing rod?
What sports do cats play on weekends?
Hairball and Catch
Why was the cat scared of the tree?
Because it had a strong bark
What do cats do after a fight?
Hiss and make up
Why was the cat grumpy all the time?
Because he likes being a sourpuss
Why did the cat scratch the couch?
Because he was in a bad mew-d
Why is a sleeping cat just like a coin?
Because he curls up into a ball, with his tail on one side and his head on the other
What cat drinks vinegar instead of water?
What did the alien say when he saw a cat?
Take me to your litter
What do you call a cat that eats too much?
A flabby tabby
What is the difference between frogs and cats?
Cats live long with their 9 lives but frogs croak every night
What does a cat eat when he wakes up?
What color do cats love?
Why did the cat sleep under a car?
To wake up oily and start his day
What’s a cat’s favorite song?
Three blind mice
Did you know that cats are more loving and obedient than dogs?
I’m just kitten around
What does a cat like to read?
Why do cats love watching Cats?
It’s their favorite mews-ical!
What’s furry, meouws when hungry, and has wings?
A cat. I lied about the wings.
What do you call a cat who really can fly?
What happened to the cat that swallowed wool?
She had mittens
Where does a kitten go after losing a tail?
A re-tail store
What did the kitten say when another kitten gave her a fright?
Stop freaking meow-t!
Kitten: Your new haircut is amazing, Ms. Molly!
Teacher: Cattery will get you nowhere. You’re still writing the test today
What scales does a kitten learn in music class?
Do Ray Me-ouw
Why do kittens love music class?
Because they’re mew-sical
What do you call a teenage kitten’s accessories?
What do kittens wear during the day?
What do kittens wear at night?
Where did the kittens go on their school trip?
To the mew-seum
What’s a kitten’s favorite subject?
What do you call a kitten who’s good at sport?
Why do kittens take so long to finish video games?
Because they have 9 lives
What has a cat’s whiskers, fur and tail but isn’t a cat?
Where do kittens go when they get hungry?
To the kit-chen
What game do kittens play at birthday parties?
What looks like half a kitten?
It’s other half
What do you call kittens lying on top of each other?
Cat Knock Knock Jokes
I taught who?
I taught I taw a puddy tat!
Grumpy cat: Go away!
Juan of these days I’ll come in through the window, but not today!
Anita drink of milk so let me in!
Claws the door behind you. You don’t live in a barn!
Cat me a bird and now I bring you da present!
Big Cat Jokes
What did the mommy lion teach her cubs?
To only cross the road when they see the zebra crossing
What’s the name of that movie where the tiger swims around in the sea and bites people?
What do you get when you cross a panther with a snowman?
When is a lion not a lion?
When he stands up
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a leopard?
A spotted sweater
What does a lion say when he sees his prey?
Pleased to eat you!
What happened to the tiger after eating the comedian?
He felt funny