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Are you ready for the complete list of the best, the funniest, the corniest, and the me-wow-est cat jokes ever? Say Hello Kitty! and step into this hilarious world of cats…

Cat Joke Video

Have some fun with this fun cat joke video:




Cat Jokes

What do you call a cat who steals other cats’ toys?

A purr-petrator


Why did the sick cat visit the doctor?

To get a purrr-scription


What do you call a cat’s house?

A scratch pad


What do you call a person who steals cats?



What do you say when a cat visits you?

Hello kitty!


What do you say when a cat leaves the house?

Have a mice day!


Finish this sentence: When the cat’s away …

… everyone has peace and quiet


What do invisible cats eat?

Evaporated milk


Why do cats sit on keyboards?

To watch the mouse


What’s a cat in a Toyota called?

A car-pet


What do you call twin cats?



What did the cat say after a shopping spree?

Now I’m paw!


Why did the cat spend all his money?

He needed some re-tail therapy


How does a cat decide what to buy at the store?

He checks the cat-alog


What car did the cat just buy?

A red furr-ari


What do you call a cat that makes furniture?

An assembly kit


What do you call a cat bite?



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Complete list of cat jokes


What does a cat cry out when he gets hurt?



What do you call a cat that wears high heels, perfume and make up?

A glamor-puss who’s feline pretty!


Why did the cat get arrested?

For litter-ing!


Who arrested the cat for litter-ing?

Claw enforcement


What does a mouse say when a cat catches his tail?

That’ll be the end of me!


What did the cat say when the mouse got away?

You’ve gotta be kitten me


Which cats purr loudest?



What do you call a cat who wins a dog show?



What do you get when you cross a cat with a pillar?

A caterpillar


What do you get when you cross a cat with a parrot?

A carrot


What do you get when you cross a cat with a ball?

A furball!


What do you call a cat that does tricks?

A magic kit


What does a cat call a bowl of milk?

A purr-fect drink!


What’s white, fluffy and floats in the pool?

A cat-a-meringue


What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?

Chocolate mouse with sprinkles


What do cats eat at the beach?

Mice-cream cones


A goat, a goose and a duck go out for lunch. Who pays?

The goose cause he’s the only one with the bill


What has four legs, whiskers, and eats grass?

A lawn meouw-er


What do you call a very old cat?



What do you call a cat jumping up and down?

A bob-cat


What do you call a cat that lives at the North Pole?

An eski-mew


What cat loves to swim?

An octo-puss


What do you call a cat nurse?

A first-aid kit


What did the cat say to the paper shredder?

Teach me everything you know


Have you seen a catfish?

Of course not – how would they hold the fishing rod?


What sports do cats play on weekends?

Hairball and Catch


Why was the cat scared of the tree?

Because it had a strong bark


What do cats do after a fight?

Hiss and make up


Why was the cat grumpy all the time?

Because he likes being a sourpuss


Why did the cat scratch the couch?

Because he was in a bad mew-d


Why is a sleeping cat just like a coin?

Because he curls up into a ball, with his tail on one side and his head on the other


What cat drinks vinegar instead of water?

A sourpuss


What did the alien say when he saw a cat?

Take me to your litter


What do you call a cat that eats too much?

A flabby tabby


What is the difference between frogs and cats?

Cats live long with their 9 lives but frogs croak every night


What does a cat eat when he wakes up?

Mice krispies


What color do cats love?



Why did the cat sleep under a car?

To wake up oily and start his day


What’s a cat’s favorite song?

Three blind mice


Funny cat jokes for kids


Did you know that cats are more loving and obedient than dogs?

I’m just kitten around


What does a cat like to read?



Why do cats love watching Cats?

It’s their favorite mews-ical!


What’s furry, meouws when hungry, and has wings?

A cat. I lied about the wings.


What do you call a cat who really can fly?



What happened to the cat that swallowed wool?

She had mittens


Kitten Jokes


Where does a kitten go after losing a tail?

A re-tail store


What did the kitten say when another kitten gave her a fright?

Stop freaking meow-t!


Kitten: Your new haircut is amazing, Ms. Molly!

Teacher: Cattery will get you nowhere. You’re still writing the test today


What scales does a kitten learn in music class?

Do Ray Me-ouw


Why do kittens love music class?

Because they’re mew-sical


What do you call a teenage kitten’s accessories?



What do kittens wear during the day?



What do kittens wear at night?



Where did the kittens go on their school trip?

To the mew-seum


What’s a kitten’s favorite subject?



What do you call a kitten who’s good at sport?



Why do kittens take so long to finish video games?

Because they have 9 lives


What has a cat’s whiskers, fur and tail but isn’t a cat?

A kitten


Where do kittens go when they get hungry?

To the kit-chen


What game do kittens play at birthday parties?

Mews-ical chairs


What looks like half a kitten?

It’s other half


What do you call kittens lying on top of each other?

A meouw-ntain


Cat Knock Knock Jokes


Knock knock

Who’s there?

I taught

I taught who?

I taught I taw a puddy tat!


Knock knock

Grumpy cat: Go away!


Knock knock

Who’s there?


Juan who?

Juan of these days I’ll come in through the window, but not today!


Knock knock

Who’s there?


Anita who?

Anita drink of milk so let me in!


Knock knock

Who’s there?


Claws who?

Claws the door behind you. You don’t live in a barn!


Knock knock

Who’s there?


Cat who?

Cat me a bird and now I bring you da present!


Knock knock

Who’s there?


Catskills who?

Catskills lizards


Big Cat Jokes


What did the mommy lion teach her cubs?

To only cross the road when they see the zebra crossing


What’s the name of that movie where the tiger swims around in the sea and bites people?



What do you get when you cross a panther with a snowman?



When is a lion not a lion?

When he stands up


What do you get when you cross a sheep and a leopard?

A spotted sweater


What does a lion say when he sees his prey?

Pleased to eat you!


What happened to the tiger after eating the comedian?

He felt funny


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